I write this blog selfishly, as only to make a mark of this moment in my time. I enjoy looking back over my writing, remembering the special times in my life.
After a long day of baking, cooking, & cleaning I just wanted some quiet down time. After some emails, texts, & phone calls I made my way to a relaxing bath all alone. By 11:30 p.m. I figured the house was asleep, but moments later my 7yr old daughter entered with tears on her checks. "My stomach hurts bad.. I think I might throw up!" Calmly I told her she could take a bath with me.
My first response was to be irritated .."Why can't I get 20 minutes alone" but my Mommy instincts said let go. As she climbed in the tub I felt like "ok" whatever. As we started to enjoy the running hot water I felt myself start to relax.
Moments later she asked me a interesting question. " What are you afraid of?" Hesitating before I answered, not sure what to say as I didn't want my fears to become her fears I replied crocodiles. She crinkled her nose & laughed at my response, which was an honest one at that. Alligators have given me nightmares for years. We continued talking of our life struggles, and she shared how she didn't want to die young, before she had a chance to live life....
Damn, she is only 7.
I could beat myself for being honest about death & disease. It probably stems from being involved in many people around us who are suffering, and a bit of my own fears spilling over onto her.
Anyways... back to my point. We finished talking, got out, and spoke while I tucked her back into bed. She replied, "We should talk like this more often." Wow, she is wise beyond her years.
I found myself crying afterwards at the tenderness of this moment we had shared together. Something only seen by God. He alone will witness these special happenings made in life.
My closing thought is I love my daughter, my family, & I am so blessed to experience this. I only hope I appreciate it as much as I should as the daily grind distracts me. This is my struggle.
~Julia
image from www.footage.shuttersstock.com
