As I sit on my couch, watching Surviving the Cut with my husband. I am in awe of these men & women who are trying to graduate "Sapper" school. Their task at hand is a "front face repel"... yes face first down a 30 foot drop, one handed. After that little bump in the road they trudge on to a 200 foot cliff to attempt the "buddy repel" This is where a man is strapped to their back, and they have to repel back first. Can you say intense! With their drill sergeants yelling orders... of course meant to encourage & direct them. They freeze up in fear. "If" they overcome & succeed, not only will they reach their goal, but their sense of purpose & accomplishment will be immense.
I find it fitting that my first post would be military related. I am also on a journey preparing for battle. As of now mine doesn't involve rock climbing gear & Sniper Rifles, but it does involve doing things that scare me. Frightfully, I peer over the edge that I am attempting to conquer. Right then my fear of failure creeps in, & I want to give up. Only my scenery looks more like a church lobby with people I don't know, not the rough, jagged wall of a moutain. Sometimes it is a text message asking me to lead bible study. This week it was starting a women's volleyball team. Now it is my computer as I attempt to write my first blog. Momentarily, I hear "will anyone show up? will I remember how to play? Will they like me? Is this really what I should be doing"... just beckoning me to give up. Thankfully my drill Sergeant is loud as He commands me. He wants me to step off the cliff, take a chance, trust His ropes, and do something that doesn't quite feel comfortable. He doesn't rudely shout, but lovingly hollers. I know the rewards that can come with each step I take, but I still hold on tight, not relinquishing the control I so desperately want, & pretend I have. Tonight I step off the cliff.